Category: Mom’s Journal

Mom’s Journal: The 1 year old

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Hey there.

I had to come on here and tell you a little about baby life presently. You would think after 4 other babies that it would be easy peasy the fifth time around. Well, it isn’t. I didn’t consider personality at all. The most out going, loud and independent one year old I’ve ever had.

I have four other children who were born in March and May. Along comes this December baby. Before he made his grand appearance, I thought to myself “This will be so easy. I know what to expect and I have more people to help me around the house.”, yada, yada, yada. My older children do help quite a bit. He gives us all a run for our money!

Have you seen the movie Baby Boss? The kids mentioned how he is our baby boss. Yes, he is bossy because he knows what he wants and he knows how he feels and he will let you know too! Added to that is the sweetest, most loveable, huggable and funniest boy. He is the best fifth baby, addition, member of this big clan. He fits just right, snug in between like a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

I have not one regret on choosing to have him. Number five or ten. I love him so. Even when he smacks my face because he’s trying to get my attention or when he screams because he had to have the remote to the television but sister is trying to get it. I wouldn’t trade any of those hectic moments. Why? Because those arms that wrap around my neck melt me into submission and that smile wins every time.

Baby Life keeps me so busy. Every waking and sleeping moment revolves around him and that’s okay. One day it will be no more. No more cooking breakfast with one hand. No more screaming for bite bites. No more kicks in the face…because co-sleeping. No more showers with Mama. No more ripping up my books. No more waking up countless times for booby. No more laughing at Mamas goofy looks. And no more bedtime snuggles. He will grow up in a blink of an eye…just like his siblings.

Bittersweet memories of the 1 year old is all I will have left.

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Mom’s Journal: What Christmas means to me.

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Christmas is upon us!

It is amazing to me how fast it comes every year. It seems that 365 days gets shorter and shorter the older I get. I understand now what my parents use to say about time. It goes on by in a blink of an eye.

I love the holidays! The colder weather, music and baking I get to do with my children, all bring me such joy and memories that last a lifetime. What I could do without is the stress of buying presents and wondering if my children will be happy come that big morning. I feel like that kills my spirit for Christmas.

Is it just me or is this more along the lines of how most people feel these days? Wouldn’t it be great to celebrate this time of year with not a care and no strings attached? Christmas isn’t about the gifts after-all!

I guess it seems like I’m complaining. It is really not my intention. I have reminded myself that I am not the only person feeling a little low this time of year. There are those without families, relatives that passed away previously, some just trying to stay warm and others may not have money for a big Christmas dinner. When I think about how others are far worse off than myself, my attitude changes.

Christmas 2015

So what does Christmas mean to me?

When I look back on my childhood, I remember lots of family and many gifts. I also remember being told about Jesus and how we celebrate it for his birthday. That is all I remember learning when it comes to the real reason. Santa Claus was the main focus of Christmas time. I believed in flying reindeer and elves. I was told the old story of St.Nick., which I am sure wasn’t anywhere near true.

Christmas growing up was really the best. My Mom spoiled us rotten. I didn’t need so much but she was always determined to make it huge. I can’t seem to match that. Granted, I do have more kids than she does but there is still that feeling of, “it’s not enough”. 

What Christmas means to me is family time, food, comfort, love and helping others. Those are the true gifts! I wish I had learned that as a child. I am trying my best to teach my children that those are the things that truly matter.

“Our time with family and the love we show everyone are the best gifts of all.”- @whw_jessica < Click to Tweet>

I don’t want to leave out Jesus. He is the true reason for the season right? I know it’s so controversial because technically he wasn’t born on December 25th. Christmas is a Pagan holiday but it doesn’t mean we should stop celebrating and forgetting Him. It is good to be aware but better to know the heart and love that Jesus has given us!

I asked some of my readers & friends what Christmas means to them. Check out what they had to say and see how beautifully blessed they are!

“Christmas is seeing the joy in my children’s faces when they wake up every morning knowing that Christmas is about giving and helping others. I love that they pick out gifts for children at the children’s hospice every year and they know that they put a smile on another child’s  face.  They know Santa can not send them to them because he does not want to make them sicker, so Santa asked us to help each year. I want my kids know about the spirit of Christmas. When that day comes and they found out. They still believe in the spirit of Santa Claus like I do, because I still believe.”-Jennifer M. Brown

“Christmas means alot things in my household, but we really love the traditions we hold on giving back” -Candie Randolph

“Christmas means the sounds of baby laughs, jingle bells and family. The smells of cinnamon, orange and pine. The twinkling of children’s eyes, the colored lights and cherished ornaments.” -Deni Kidwell

“To me, Christmas means love. It means family, traditions, baking cookies, magic, decorating, getting a picture with Santa, get togethers, snow and so much more! It’s my absolute favorite holiday because I’m able to let the people closest to me know how much I love them.” -Amy Breen

“Family and Peace.” –Melanie Geravis

“Christmas means to me the excitement of cooking traditional and family heritage recipes like buñuelos (fried dough) and natilla (custards),  the joy of listening grandpa’s stories and the genuine family heartfelt love.” -Alexander Lopez

“Christmas to me, is celebrating life. Celebrating the year’s up and down, the rollercoaster of whatever we went thru. To see the joyous smiles on my daughters’ face as they open gifts we worked hard to buy. To bake and decorate cookies together. To read together. Christmas to me is my family. My family I created and love more than anything in this world.”-Samantha Smith

“Christmas means spending quality time with family. There’s also that special magic in the air from the colder weather, the excitement of the birth of Jesus, Santa’s nocturnal visit, and the presents carefully arranged under the tree waiting to be discovered by little eyes, hands and hearts.”-E.L. Lane 

“Christmas to me is a time when families come together to celebrate life, love, and to eat so much your pants pop open.”-Tamara Faith

“For me it’s the last big family celebration before the new year. Eating, listening to music, laughing. Still enjoy seeing the kids excitement even though they are older.”-Keith Chait 

“Family and Food.”-Vicki Simmons

Mom’s Journal: Thanks & Giving

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Good morning!

I cannot believe it is that time already. Tomorrow is Thanksgiving! The day we give thanks for all that we have. For our families, home and life. The history of Thanksgiving is a bit sketchy. Something I have been wanting to learn more about. I am not talking about what we were taught in grade school. BUT I am not going to get into that today.

Today, I want to say that we should ALWAYS be thankful. We do not need just one day to be grateful. We need not forget our blessing every single day. I am not saying we should not celebrate our Thanksgiving. It is the perfect time to make TIME to get together with our families and enjoy ourselves. I just believe we all need to be reminded that being thankful should always be on our minds and shown from our hearts.

I also want to add that Thanksgiving is also about GIVING. When we give our time, love and attention to others, we are giving them a reason to be thankful.

No matter how hard life can be, we all have something to be thankful for! I personally have a very long list. Regardless of some hardships, I will always try my best to remind myself how blessed I am…..every single day.
I am thankful for:

  • Being a Mother
  • Being a Wife
  • Knowing truth
  • Having a brain to think for myself
  • Homeschooling
  • Still having my Mother
  • Having friends in many places
  • A chance to share my point of view
  • My husband
  • My family

The list goes on and on, and in no particular order. I am so thankful that I can feed my family an amazing meal and spend quality time together. I am also grateful to be able to do this every day.

So, today I will keep a smile on my face remembering all I continue to be thankful for, and get ready to fill up on some amazing comfort food. How about you?

What are you thankful for?

Mom’s Journal: Weary Thoughts

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Weary thoughts…

I have many. So many thoughts that my mind becomes weary and my eyebrows feel tight. Never a moment feeling relaxed in my thoughts. One small and meaningless thought turns into a million more. Never letting me relax. I think, “How can I solve this?” and “How can I make them happy?” 

What must I do to make life more fulfilling and possibly more exciting? What should I make for dinner? Will it be enough? Tomorrow I will write that blog post or finally tackle cleaning the cupboards. Will tomorrow be easier? Will I finally let my soul relax? 

Should I be more transparent? We know that I am leaving out many thoughts. So many, in fact, that they would leave you feeling overwhelmed and anxious. Writing helps….

When I write about just about anything it helps me feel calmer. I greatly need calmness and peacefulness in my life. Otherwise, I cannot function in a kind and helpful way for family and friends. If anyone comes around me full of nerves, hostility or anger I will not stick around. My soul depends on peace.

Intuition, empathy, and emotional sensitivity….

What do these mean?

Intuition is the ability to understand something immediately, without the need for conscious reasoning. That gut feeling you get when someone is lying to you or when something is about to happen…good or bad. Do you ever listen to yours?

Empathy is the psychological identification with or vicarious experiencing of the feelings, thoughts or attitudes of another. When you know by feeling and understanding others. 

“Emotionally sensitive people have a deeply sensitive perspective of the world, such as being connected to animals and nature more than most. They are generally attuned to the emotions of others and can exhibit both excessive tolerance and intolerance.”-(source: Karyn D. Hall PhD)

Having these traits or whatever you’d like to call them, can be a really beautiful gift. However, it can also be stressful, painful and draining to my mind, body and soul. I am working on this every day. Taking time to do things for myself, having quiet time and staying away from negative things and people have helped. Just learning and taking it one day at a time.

I found a really good article I’d like you all to read here, 5 Gifts of being highly sensitive.

💜 Jessica

Mom’s Journal: A little time off.

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Hey there, it’s me again. I have been a pretty busy Mom these past few days. I decided to take some time off from social media. I needed to shorten my to do list a bit and really figure out how much time I’m wasting, as well as how much of my time is being used in a positive way.

It is so important to use our time in a positive, non-wasting way. This also includes the quality time and attention I would much rather focus towards my children. As a Mother, we have so many roles. On top of the average Motherly roles, I also have to homeschool 4 of 5 children. Yes, they are all mine 😄 They deserve every amount of time I can dedicate to them.

The challenge I face right now is balancing it all with a 10 month old. My little boy understandably needs all of my attention and that can really make it hard to stay motivated. The feelings I get when overwhelmed are failure and giving up. I do not want that to happen! I am sure I am not alone in my feelings. We all have to step back from time to time and evaluate our circumstances.

I did manage to get quite a bit done today (Monday). Miraculously, little ham had a really great nap and I spent some quality time with my older kids. They were even saying how much they missed our craft time together.

Although my time off is technically not a break from life, it did however give me a break from the pressures of managing my social media accounts.

So would you like to see what we have been up to?

First, I managed to get some cleaning done. Kids volunteered to help and one even put little ham down for a nap. Yes, I am the luckiest Mama alive!

Second, we gathered our fall leaves that were collected from our nice weekend adventure in the backyard. We created leaf art. Simple, yet fun coloring craft.

Third, we started our project on Dad’s birthday presents. One in particular is an I-O-U coupon book. Each page in the book is an I owe you. An example of one would be, “This coupon is good for one 20 minute massage.” Another simple and fun project.

Fourth, we played a fun new word game called Word-A-Melon. Which I will be reviewing soon! I really had some fun with this one.

So, that was just a little bit of what we have been up to. Maybe I will share more later. For now, this is it and I will chat with you all later. Thanks for stopping by!

Mom’s Journal: Count to 10

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Don’t lose your cool. Count to 10……..Being a Mom takes patience. Every day you learn a little more. You learn to think a lot more before you speak. 1,2,3……10.
A lot of times you don’t think first, you’ll act first. That can be good but it also can be bad. I use to have no patience. I forgot what it was like to be a kid. My adult brain was running rampant. We must remember what it is like to have a mind of a child. We have to remember how simple that life can be. Adults make it so complicated.

I’ve had some pretty hard days. Days that make me wonder who I am.. When I look in the mirror I don’t always recognize myself. “Who are you and what did you do with Jessica!?”

Do you ever ask yourself that? Who are you? What have you become? Have you lost who you are? Maybe you just need to be reminded. Do you see what having kids does to my mind? :oops: I am not sure if I’m asking you these questions or myself.

I feel like I’m just rambling on. I can’t even remember what the point of this post is! Oh wait, I was counting to 10. So I must have had a moment of my patience being tested. Does this ever happen to you? You think about one thing, which leads you to another and so on. Until you are thinking or writing a short story 😄

I think I’ll regret this tomorrow but oh well. This writing my thoughts is so helpful. Even if they don’t make sense to you.

 

Mom’s Journal: Help Me Rise Once Again

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Good morning. It’s pretty early here in Georgia right now. Before 7am is early in this house. I have so much I want to say lately, yet I cannot seem to reach the right words. I feel like I’m bobbing for apples and I can’t seem to catch one.

This whole year has been difficult. Each month just trying to get through. It doesn’t feel like a way to live. Surviving isn’t enough! I won’t go into detail about my life’s struggles. To name a few, finances, raising a pre-teen and family drama.

I stay distant, I try to push back the burden of finances…way back in my mind, and I try so hard to be a good Mother. I have become distant with family for fear of more hurt and conflict…I cannot emotionally handle.

How do I deal with these things without feeling so much anxiety? I feel like I may lose my mind trying so hard.

What my mind tells me…

I’m not doing enough to help my family. I don’t work outside the home. All I do is take care of 5 kids all day, clean, homeschool and try to be a supportive wife.

Am I doing enough? I feel so drained. How much more can I give?

Do I let people (family or friends) in again? Do I open my heart?

Am I loving enough? Do I expect too much of my children? Are they getting enough from life?

I’m haunted. I want my children to have more out of life. I want them to grow and spread their wings wide open. Life is hard. My faith is dwindling away like the leaves on a tree preparing for Autumn.

I’m doing the best I can. Or am I?

I’m pleading with myself and Jesus. Please free me from my mind. I can’t reach you. Please reach out your hand and touch mine. Help me rise once again.

Some days are easy and I feel happy regardless of life’s trials. I can be positive and optimistic in hard times. Not every day is this way. I struggle with trust. How do I trust everything will work out? And for how long will it last?

Nothing good or bad lasts forever. It is like trying to hold onto water or a burning flame. I must find myself again. The strong woman inside of me. I must find Him again. For I will fall without him.